A two year old wants what they want now. Patience is not their strong suit at this age. If mama is making lunch why can't they have it right now rather than waiting for it to cool. There may be a toy or two launched across the room as they learn to share, to wait, to listen. These behaviors are expected as we train them and teach them that the world doesn't always revolve around them. Okay, so at this age families do revolve around them but can't give them everything they desire when they desire it. The terrible two tantrums are expected and it is our job to guide them and teach them through the learning process without battle scars on either side.
These same behaviors on adults are a lot less expected or attractive. It seems some of us have gotten so used to instant gratification that Amazon can hardly make the boxes quick enough to pack them with our must have now purchases. Not only do we want what we want now but we are burying ourselves in the must haves that are really I'm bored and that is shiny so put it in my cart. The good news is we are donating at an accelerated rate all those must haves to charity. Trouble is us thrift store/garage sale shoppers are also dragging home more than we need. Over purchasing is just one two year old mindset that we have embraced.
For some reason we have slipped back into the belief that we are always right. It's mine. Stop. No. Even going so far as biting when we can't control the situation. My Bible study today was on anger. What I gleaned from it was most of our anger like that of a two year old is due to not being able to control a situation. Others have their opinion and they like us want to have things their way. This can lead to a lot of butting heads maybe even a pushing match not with our hands but our words. The difference with these conflicts among two year olds is they can be distracted with a toy or a snack. Adults grab onto their differences and it can create a barrier between even those closest to us. It seems that discussing things that we disagree on can hurt long after the conversation when we get ugly with our words. So we all go to our own corners and avoid our differences which seems like the safe way to go. But internally we are still judging one another and trying to covertly sway them. Because after all we do have all the answers and they are misguided and need to see the light even when they won't listen. Hmmmmmm.
This can be related to politics, parenting, those Amazon boxes, faith, even how many chocolate chips go in the perfect cookie. Anger boils down to the same core with a two year old or an adult acting like a two year old. Control. We want to control life and not just for our selves but for everybody else. I wrote a blog years ago on my micromanaging wand. It referred to how I wanted to control my adult children because I whole heartedly believed that was how I could protect them from life. What I didn't realize was that I had already given them the tools that they needed to choose their own way even if it was not what Mama thought best. How exhausting to believe that I have all the answers and need everyone else to simply listen to protect them from their own ideas. Being an expert on global politics, child rearing, finances, and relationships would take multiple lifetimes to master. Yet I live like I have the answers and I will share them with you even when you don't ask.
I remember when Ronnie B. and I were first married, his dad was always sending us articles on everything. He just knew if we read them that we would be financially stable and know exactly who to vote for. Now it is our turn to share unsolicited information with our kids and add to their circular file. Paper is not wasted but their email trash is cluttered with our must reads. How much more relaxing to trust that others can figure it out and I can drop my wand and apply what I read to me not everyone else. Perhaps I need to learn like a two year old that if I be patient others can actually teach me. Maybe life is about always being a student and not always using our teacher voices.
In Him,
Joyful
3-21-22
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