In my teens, I hounded my parents about using spray cans that would ruin our ozone. Everything I heard in class I was convinced was accurate and my parents most certainly needed to change their ways. When I couldn't convince them to vote for Kennedy, I thought our nation would be destroyed.
In my twenties, my love story was the most beautiful. I was convinced that my parents needed to begin having meaningful talks while they held hands and gazed into one another's eyes. How could they be in truly in love if they didn't embrace my idea of the perfect romance.
In my thirties,I began my chosen family. Parenting was done differently than when my Mom was a mom. After all, I read every book on babies and I worked hard to adopt the children God blessed me with. Let me just say, Cam potty trained at eighteen months with salty snacks and delicious drinks so he would pee more often. Naked and running around my house he was learning. Peeing everywhere but learning. See I absolutely was the expert.
In my forties, I believed I was in my favorite part of life. My kids were all home and growing. Ron and I were taking them on trips and adventures. We ran our local cub scouts and I was proudly a stay at home mom. But our outsides didn't match our insides an our family was having more than growing pains. Drug use, separations, and depression shook my faith in my micromanaging wand that I thought I could wave and make everything right. Rather than giving my opinion on everyone else's business, I began seeking others wisdom to get through our rocky season.
A few great pearls are~ Treat one another like you will be together the rest of your life. No exit plans.
~ Act as if/ fake it till it's real. Begin treating each other like the love of your life.
~ Two poles hold up a volleyball net. Both must do their part or the net will fall.
~ The only one you can change is you. But the good news is changing you changes the people around you.
~ Pray together. Make Jesus the center of even the toughest words that you need to say to one another. He gives you courage to be honest about what's in your heart.
In my fifties, our home became a revolving door of kids and grandkids coming and going. We were empty nesters one minute just to have someone show up on our door with a carload to move home. My classroom at the middle school and Young Life were my heart. I was joyful and loving life. Praying and walking in faith. Reaching young girls at school and at Saturday morning breakfast. Then our world stopped spinning when our son, Ryan, ended his life. What I know is the people who held us up were angels that God placed in our lives to give us strength, courage, and a new ministry. Walking by other parents who grieved a child became our toughest but most rewarding work. Working at the middle school to value my students gave me hope that no other would need to make Ryan's choice.
Now I find myself in my mid-sixties, and I am less opinionated, more often silent and have learned to turn my hands up and get on my knees when life is difficult. This quiet season is also filled with the young people in my life fiercely trying to convert me to their way of thinking. After all, I am old school in too many of my thoughts and they absolutely know best. A smile comes over my face as I know that there will come a season for them when they listen more than they speak hoping to be heard and understood. My parents patiently listened to me and bought roll on deodorant to save the ozone. Like I drink without a plastic straw and recycle to stop global warming. Becoming quieter in life doesn't come in a day, a week, or even a year. Learning what we don't know or understand takes decades of living. But I do share the love of Christ with as many as I can. Not with a bullhorn but with a book and a life that hopefully is less judgemental and more like Jesus as I walk my life story out in real time.
Walking hand in hand with Ronnie B with our Medicare cards tucked in our wallets is mostly quiet. When we met I felt uncomfortable when there was silence between us. Now I enjoy all the moments we share. Sometimes the loudest words are not words at all but a loving acceptance of those around us.
In Him,
Joyful
3-8-22
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