Open Arms Allows Embrace

 

He would tell me that He just enjoys spending time with me. That hanging out is what keeps us connected and reminds me of His love and presence. What I want to remember whether the weather outside is warm and pleasant or there is a storm brewing, is that I am not alone. He is with me. Not only is my time with Him the best way to start my day but return to throughout the day. I am not alone.                                                                                          Our silence togetherness is my strength. When I look back over life and all the struggles it was not the worry that gave me strength or brought me peace. It was the knowledge that I don’t walk alone in life. The beauty of God’s love is that not only is He a constant presence but He has provided others who are just a phone call away from supporting me whatever I am going through. The lifelong  friends can be counted on my fingers. The casual acquaintances and those who move through for a season are plentiful and bring fond memories of our times together. Then there are my social media relationships, some that Ryan connected me with through losing him. Others are in my life from a one time encounter like Jacqueline and Melissa. We met by chance and connected and have shared our lives on line for years since. It is true that God gives us others to encourage and enjoy. 

I feel so blessed to be allowed to spend quiet time most mornings in relationship with Him. Our time together directs my day. What I need is not a list of prayer requests but a remembering of how He walks beside me no matter the outcomes of life. Would I change some of the heartbreaks? I can’t say yes or no. Having faith is knowing that God didn’t create them but is always here with me. I would love to have my sister and Ryan back in my life on this side of heaven. But there is no changing their too soon deaths. What I do know is that because of losing them, I have had opportunities and encounters with others that I wouldn’t have had if they were still with me. It is not about hoping for loss but for embracing the impact that loss allows us. Others have a window to my faithful relationship with Jesus even during heartcrushing times. 

This week I am having a quiet sadness as the two year anniversary of losing my sister is just a few days away. Yesterday was my Dad’s birthday. I missed out on having him in my life for half of my life. Then I am prayerful for Hector, my son-in-love’s family as the first anniversary of his death is coming right before Christmas. My quiet time is for me to fill up so I can pour out on others who have experiences loss. 

Each of us has a story. 

I want mine to be connected to others and Him.

I’m not good at walking alone.

Open arms allows embracing.

Coffee and Jesus is when I fill up to pour out.

In Him,

Joyful

11-18-22