I am really hopeful to have the first podcast launched by April 5th but trying not to be disappointed if it has to be delayed a bit. The intro message has been written and I want to share it here with you. Ronnie B says I need to rehearse it so it isn’t monotone and becomes a sleep aid. I plan to follow his advice. In future episodes it will not be scripted but thought out and allowed to unfold spontaneously. But for this introduction I really want others to know how God has directed me to this point.
Next steps to get this out there are graphic for podcast, set up microphone and equipment. Thankfully, Freedom and Nate are willing to get me up and running. I could not possibly attempt this without the supportive people God has surrounded me with so far. Yes, it makes me nervous and excited to see God’s plans in my saying yes to this new venture. He is leading my steps so I don’t need to know how it will go. I just need to be willing to listen and take steps to share Jesus’ heart for me and for each one of us.
So here is a sneak peak of what I hope my podcast will be………
Stepping Out with Jesus
My relationship with Jesus is not about going to heaven for eternity, although that is a marvelous perk. The truth is that life can be difficult as well as incredible moment to moment. I am grateful that Jesus is with me every step through my life. His gift to me is not just salvation but that He is with me step by step, day by day, throughout every season.
This podcast is my way of sharing God’s faithfulness through some heartbreaking times as well as joyful ones and how He was not only beside me but turned each one into intimate moments together.
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Stepping Out with Jesus is the perfect name for this venture. All the others I thought of were way too limiting. This needs to be about all the parts of my journey through this life. So I would like to share with you a few highlights of who I am and my life with Christ so far.
First, I married my high school sweetheart over forty-eight years ago and just returned from a month long RV trip with my Ronnie B to visit family and friends in the northwest. At sixty-nine we are two retired seniors enjoying life together. So let me begin with a deep dive into my life and how Jesus took every step with me hand in hand.
After exhaustive infertility, I was fortunate that four birthmother’s selflessly shared their precious newborns with Ron and me. We not only formed a family but got an extended family of birth families to share life with as well. It went from worries that it would just be the two of us to this family that covers decades of love and sharing.
My children are all raised and have children of their own. We even have two great-grandchildren to go with our eight grandkids. Ron and I get to travel here and there to visit with them and enjoy every minute together. Our greats live in our little, hometown so we get to see their cuteness often. Families are formed through love and the gift of our chosen children has made life filled with laughter and tears.
Almost sixteen years ago, my son, Ryan, took his life after years of substance abuse. At twenty-four he was finally sober and I took a breath believing he was finally safe. God knows how difficult losing our son was for Ron and me as well as his wife, four year old daughter, siblings and all his best friends. Our community came together and celebrated his life and the great times we all shared with Ry. It was quite a goodbye party that happened way too soon. That was certainly one of the times God held me closest in His embrace. He also showed me all the lives Ryan’s short life impacted over his life.
Just before Ryan died, I started a blog with one of my Young Life girls who struggled with cutting. We decided to write everyday to avoid her craving the blade that harmed her. This blog would eventually become a book about grief and faith. Leona pulled out my posts about losing my son and A Mother’s Journey Through the Loss of her Son was self published. Writing was my sanctuary to get through everyday.
Little did Ron and I know that during this time God was preparing us to have a ministry we never asked for. Since losing Ryan, we have walked beside countless parents as they grieved a child who left too soon. Truthfully, Ron and I are not strong enough to live this grief over and over. But we are not walking beside families on our own, but with the strength of Jesus always right there with us guiding our steps and our words.
This little prayer we call Lissa’s prayer plays in my head on repeat….
Lord above comfort me
Give me courage, help me see
Guide my actions, guide my words
Let me know my prayers are heard.
Comfort, courage, guidance and the promise that Jesus stays right beside me buried in my heart each day.
On a brighter side, family trips are some of my fondest memories. We drove from Key West Florida one year to the Arctic Circle the next. It made it even more special with the seven of us crowded in a nineteen foot, 1975 camper van with a bucket and a bag for a toilet. Our four kids were always keeping Ron, my mom and me entertained. Going on a two month trip to Alaska right after the Austin Powers movie came out proved to be memorable. The inappropriate catch phrases from that movie really drove my mom crazy. Of course, her reaction just fueled the boys on even more. It was hilarious. Once Mom got into one of the kid’s sleeping bag by mistake. We could have easily told her that it was too short but it was way more fun watching her struggle to pull it up. Boy did she give us her look when she realized we were all busting up at her expense.
Another hard truth in our family is addiction. Ryan was not the only one of our children afflicted with substance abuse. For years, I said that my other son was a heroin addict until God gently corrected me. Heroin addict is an identity, my son is wonderfully made and has an addiction to opiates. Turning my hands up and repeating over and over that God loves him even more than I do is what got me through nights of knowing he was living on the streets and out of touch. I couldn’t protect him, bully him into sobriety, or save him from himself or others. What I could do is pray and have faith that he was and is in God’s hands. Years of uncertainty have led him out of succumbing to his addictions. But the journey has not been without bumps in the road. He is now a tattoo artist which makes me smile. When he was just a little guy he wanted to be a cartoonist. Now he says God saved him by letting him doodle on people. I now have a tattoo of 1 Corinthians 16:14 Let love and kindness be the motivation in all you do. It is on my wrist and a constant reminder of how I need to live my life.
The blog turned into a book has given me a boldness to share my faith with others. Whether it is a clerk at Dollar Tree smiling joyfully at customers or someone who is waiting on our table at a favorite spot, God presses me to share my faith walk with others and sign them with just how I see their actions impacting others all day long. Ron and I buy books a hundred at a time at authors price off Amazon so we always have an ample supply to share. It works out great when we travel since I pack clothes on one side of my suitcase and books on the other. When they are all in others hands I have plenty of room for souvenirs to bring home from the trip.
So why start a podcast as well as continuing my blog? I want to share my faith, infertility, family trips, adoption, addiction, funny moments, grief, friends who are family, depression and so much more in this podcast. To bring others in at times to share their life paths and faith.
That is why waking up after much prayer with the name Stepping Out with Jesus as a title for this new endeavor is perfect. God clearly stated it needs to be Stepping Out with Jesus not for Jesus.Since it covers all my steps in life the wonderful and the difficult. In every step God is right there with me and that is what I hope to share with you. None of us has to walk out life alone. Jesus is always right there to take our hand, to embrace us or even be our stretcher when we are face down in sorrow. He is only a whisper away. I know because He has always been right here with me, sent others to hold me up when I couldn’t stand on my own. That makes this life joyful in every circumstance. Not what if but even if………..Jesus is with me.
My hope is to upload an episode every Wednesday. Please be patient as I navigate this new adventure. Pray those who need to see into my heart will find this and share with others.
In Him,
Joyful
3-25-23
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