Life is good at slowing us down when we need a break. 2023 has felt like that year for me. My tremor in my hand certainly impacted my life in every situation. It is not such an issue since I have found a treatment that takes it from a dance party to a gentle jiggle. I am now able to write and eat more often. The prayers of each of you have been even more of an impact than the medicine in my mind. The tremor caused me frustration, embarrassment, and grief that my life was not what it had been. Asking others to write for me or avoiding eating out was painful. But the kindness of those around me was powerful. From the lady at the bank who filled out some forms to the laughter over the clickety clack of my grocery cart with Natalie, others made this shift almost joyful in their generosity.
Fast forward to my trip with Susi to get a routine follow-up for her back surgery. We looked at it as a much needed girls trip with plans to visit and do fun things along the way. Best laid plans is what they say gets disrupted be life. Susi ended up needing a second surgery that was unexpected and devastating. Her hope was shattered but she squared her shoulders and got on with arranging for the next steps. After a car ride filled with laughter and reconnecting I got sick. Just a head cold I thought but boy was I exhausted. Susi and her friend ran around while I laid in bed barely moving. How is it that neither of us thought Covid? But it was Covid and really complicated life. Susi’s husband, Mark, came for the surgery so I drove home. Half way there I had to stop and get a hotel room because I was beyond depleted of even driving energy. Ron suggested a Covid test and I really believed it would be negative as every other one I took had been. Positive. Oh how was I going to tell Susi. And what the heck was the timing of this? How was it even possible three years Covid free could line up for me to expose my Susi to this.
Here we are a month later with both of us on oxygen with long Covid and once again we are in a sit down season. I don’t know how O=Pat navigates with this tubing like such a champ. This has been life changing but is hopefully temporary. Pat’s is for the rest of life and she deals with it with such grace. I want to be more like her when I grow up. But oxygen has changed my days. The trip Ron and I have planned may or may not happen. We are still praying about whether to go or to stay.I have stubbornly removed my tubing when I wanted to run get something outside but the little oxymeter shows me that this is a really bad choice.
All in all this season of rest and slowing down is one I am doing my best to be thankful for. I have the means to get help for my dancing hand and to get air in y lungs to heal. What a time to be thankful not pouty. Others around the world and even in our own country don’t have the resources and time to rest that I have. Good thing we are retired when we are old. This old age stuff takes time sometimes. This would be way different if I was teaching or had four little kids running around. God has the timing just right on this.
What I do know is that I need to find a way to make my couch potato status more productive. I can blame this first month on Covid brain or lack of oxygen but now that I have much neeeded air I need to put away the games on my phone and Netflix and find ways to get back to goals I have that I can accomplish on my bum.So today is day one for me putting away my excuses and pity party and getting back to life. In this season. Perhaps I will be courageous enough to crochet the many baby blankets I need to complete. But first a second cup of coffee and a shower and ready to go clothes as my grandson, Timmy, would say.
In Him,
Joyful
5-4-23
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