Day by day, week by week, heck sometimes we have to have faith minute by minute. I think of others in a crisis moment or a life changing season and how it is more about getting through than what the final outcome will be. This past weekend I was terrified for someone I love. It is not like them to not respond to me. I let fear envelope my days as I imagined all sorts of horrific scenarios. Yes, I did pray but I didn’t lay it at Jesus’ feet. Trust was not my mindset. Fear and doom devoured my thoughts.
Last night, I heard from him and everything was fine. He just got caught up with life and was not aware of the fears I was living with. What I know is that whether the worst had happened or that everything was just fine, I could not have changed the outcome with my worry. Instead I spent a miserable weekend imagining the worst and getting myself all twisted up in panic. I don’t want to live like that. I long to have faith that trusts the outcomes and what ifs of life. Even if the worst should happen as it sometimes does, God will walk me through the tragedies of life. I know this to be true from past experiences.
Each of us can come up with an answer when someone says what is the worst case scenario. There is loss in life, hurt in life, disappointment in life. Others will call us strong and courageous as we walk through these times. But the truth is none of us are prepared to walk through the storms of life and at the same time each of us is prepared. This is especially true when we lean on our faith and those God has put in our lives to hold us up when we can’t stand alone.
So I am taking deep breaths and thanking God for the truth that all was well the entire weekend. The only thing that wasn’t as it should be was me and my lack of faith. I would like to say that next time I will not panic but the truth is demons get stuck in my thoughts and consume me more than they should. Just know that I am a work in progress. Aren’t we all?
In Him,
Joyful
1-17-24
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