Know When to Hold ‘em, Know When to Fold ‘em~Surrender

 Hold and fold parenting is a surrendering concept by Tim Sanders. He wrote a book Losing Control and Liking it that highlights what we do have control over that we hold and what we don’t control that we need to fold our hands in prayer for. When our little is a newborn we hold them in our hands but even at eight months old my little grandson, Auggie, is making some of his own choices. Like spitting out a texture or taste that he does not like. When you think of parenting it is all about losing control and allowing our kiddos to grow into their own choices and challenges. If you look at a lifetime of parenting we are to spend most of our mom time folding our hands. My son Cameron will be forty this year as I just turned sixty-eight. Already he has been making his own life without me holding on to control but folding my hands in prayer for him and his family. 

I love this concept that God uses our journey in parenting to teach us the surrender that we need to give Him that folding hands in all aspects of our own lives. Too often I turn my hands up in surrender only to succumb to the misconception that I can do better if I snatch control back from Him. Silly Barbara you know that is not the truth. 

So I say hold em or fold em is not about poker as much as it is me placing my trust in Jesus to see the big picture that I cannot see. Folding my hands in prayer is my super power. When I look back over my life I see that places I doubted or would have loved to change the direction led to where I am today. Today is exactly where I am supposed to be. Would I have chosen infertility? Nope. But I would not have my kids, grandkids, or greats if I had not had fertility heartbreak. Would I choose to lose my son to suicide? Of course not but through that loss I get to share how Jesus walks beside me with others almost daily. Yesterday, in a Walmart parking lot in Grants, New Mexico I was able to help a mom and her two sons with money for some food and bus money. She said Jesus led her to me as I handed her the hundred dollar bill I keep in the back of my phone case for just that purpose. Then I gave her my book of my decade journey through losing Ryan. We prayed together for her family and mine. I wasn’t just some older lady in a car she would only dream of having one day. I was another mom who had struggles with loss and concern for my own children. My family needs prayer as much as hers does in our own ways. 

The connections that come from the heartbreaks that each of us walks through draw us closer to one another and to our Heavenly Father if we fold our hands in prayer rather than white knuckling control over  our circumstances. So I am going to try to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em and trust in God staying close beside me throughout my life. 

In Him,

Joyful

4-24-24