How glorious to wake up with anticipation of a new day. I have been on a journey of believing the best and just this attitude is creating a peaceful, expectant attitude. Nothing has really changed recently so I am not quite sure what is making me feel so expectant of positives in my life. But it is here and I am wallowing in this hopefulness. The one change I can point to is that my prayers have been more believing in situations that have been prayed for decades without movement. One is for my grown children to choose to be in a relationship with one another. Will this ever be the case? I am not sure but I do know that I have accepted whatever God chooses to do in this circumstance. There are other things in life that remain unresolved but I have somehow finally set them down and found a peace with how things are rather than wringing my hands with how I would prefer them to be. Something wonderful has happened. I am no longer feeling the need to fix everything or have my way in other’s lives. Isn’t that a part of the AA saying………change the things I can and accept the things I cannot change. Peace comes when we let go and let others choose their own paths. Perhaps this peace I have found is that at seventy I have laid down my micromanaging wand and learned to stay in my own lane more. I am convinced that my children and grandchildren are thrilled with me trusting them with their own choices. Do I still pray for them and support them where I can? Absolutely! But Natalie for one has been trying to get me to stop advising her when she doesn’t ask for decades. Maybe this thick skull is finally getting the memo.
Today, I expect wonderful things to happen. I look forward to packing out for a trip to the northwest in a couple weeks. Elissa is graduating tomorrow from NNMC with a phlebotomy certificate and starts nursing school in the fall. Clara is coming to spend tonight to ride with us in the morning. Our summer intern arrives today from Nepal. Ronnie B has been getting projects around the house completed with Jon’s help. Then I am also spending time on me. My sister always took the time to do her fingernails and put on lotions and potions whereas my mom and I were never really interested in all the girlie things. Lately, I have stepped up my pampering of me. With the help of Zepbound my weight that has always been a burden is not an issue anymore. Food noise is quieted and I am at the weight that I listed on my driver’s license for the first time in decades. I actually feel pretty. That is something I haven’t really felt in my whole life. Funny that this comes at seventy with all my wrinkles and bright white hair but here it is. Heck, I even wore a dress to Elissa’s graduation party. 
Life is good. Life has moments of fear, doubt, frustration but really isn’t that just a part of life for everyone. There are things I hope to do better. There are habits I want to discard. But in the end, I believe this feeling of euphoria is because I have found a way to have grace for me. Rather than dwelling on all the should have, could have, why didn’t I parts of my life, I am choosing to celebrate where I am right in this moment of time. Ronnie B and I are in good health and looking forward to our rv trip. There are hot springs to visit and lakes to swim in along the way to family. Our grandgirl, Kayla, is graduating from high school and on to Western Washington University. So glad we get to be a part of her celebration. What a joy to put most pity parties behind me and enjoy life as it is. God knows I am living a life I don’t deserve but embrace. Family, friendships and faith are such a big part of my joy. For each of you, I am grateful.
In Him,
Joyful
5-15-26
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