First Father's Day Without Her Daddy

Her 5th Father's Day is her 1st Father's Day without her Daddy. We are all grieving the loss of our Ryan, but little Lis will never have another Daddy to take her ice skating or tuck her in at night. I thank God she had that marvelous week with him this past January. They were inseparable and laughed and hugged continuously. Although he was not able to live with his little girl, she was the light of his life.

 The pain of not spending Halloween with her led him to take a suicidal picture in October. Spending Easter apart was obviously more than he could bare. Ryan had a lot of love for all the special people in his life and never met a stranger. But the great love of his life was this adorable, blonde haired, brown eyed little 5 year old.

She is having trouble getting to sleep at night, she just sobs for her Daddy. Her love for him is as great as his love for her. I thank God that I am able to gaze into her precious brown eyes that are so like her dad's.
Tomorrow will not be too difficult for Lis, she doesn't really understand that this day should be about her dad and her. Father was not a word that she used for her Daddy. Future Father's Days will be more difficult to live through, as she grows and becomes more aware of her loss.

I pray that those of us around Lis can convince her that Ryan never meant to leave her even though his actions tell a different story. His love for her and his distance from her because of addictions were more than he could take. Loneliness for his incredible daughter broke his heart on that awful night. Hopefully, his great love for her will be of some comfort as she grows up with the sad reality of how she lost her 1 and only Daddy.

In Him,
Joyful
6-19-2010