Pawn Shop Tears

Pawn shops are unsafe places for me right now. Didn't have a clue until yesterday that that is the reality. Cathy and I went into 1 to look for an amplifier for her son. When she said she was going to stop and look at the guns, I looked up. There was a wall filled with rifles and shotguns and cases with handguns. I crumbled into a sobbing mass.

Today I am taking a  self-induced time out. Lis was up with Cam's family rock climbing, Ron is off chasing shadows for the Solstice, and I am resting and spending time with myself. No big revelations other than the fact that I am incapable of taking naps. Oh yes, and I am jealous of people who can take naps.

Reflecting, contemplating, meditating, these are all words I could use to describe my afternoon. But, if I am honest, I just needed to lay on my bed and veg out with online tv shows and Redbox movies. I learned that it is not nice to shoot a goat in the leg and that Monk has too many issues to enjoy going camping. So I have had my spell of laziness and don't feel any better for it. Guess I should have gone to the Gordon's concert after all. Ron is probably right that being around others is healing. Can't wait til I am enjoying being social again.

In Him,
Joyful
6-18-2010