No Other Mother

No other mother! Today, Ron and I went to the funeral of a 21 year old that was in our cub scout troop. His life ended way too soon just like Ryan's. This is too much. Our little town has lost too many wonderful young people in the past couple years. The kids are weary of the constant grief and the worrying about who is next. Tanner has lost more friends and family at 23 years old than I have lost in my 54 years.

We discussed it in the car on the way to the graveside service, Ron and I don't need anymore members of the Parents Who Have Lost Children group. These wonderful people were just feeling compassion for us a few, short months ago and now they are burying their beloved son. This is definitely not how the world is supposed to work. Our kids are supposed to bury us when they are much older themselves, preferably with grandkids of their own.

This young man was in the Army and so at the graveside service they had a 21 gun salute. I knew it was coming but was totally unprepared for my reaction to the deafening gunshot sounds. My whole body drooped. It was as if Ryan had shot himself dead right in that horrifying moment. I was crushed. If a dear, young man had not put his arm around me and lifted me up, I may have fallen to the ground at that terrifying instant.

No mother, father, sister, brother, or friend should have to suffer the loss of those they love. Today was exactly 4 months since Ryan shot himself. It would have been a difficult day no matter what. Watching Ava cling to the casket of her only son made it almost impossible to bear.

In Him,
Joyful
8-5-2010