They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Maybe it is not insanity but being hopeful that if you try hard enough that things will work out the way you want. Insanity or hopeful either way it seems some people just have a knack for breaking my heart. No matter how much I want to draw them in they just don't have their hearts in a relationship with me.
Maybe it isn't insanity or hopefulness but pathetic. No one should try this hard to be accepted by another human being. It makes me sad and embarrassed that my friends can see my futile efforts and how upset I become again and again. This trying too hard is my fault no one else's so I must take responsibility. At some point I will give up but that is not what I want to do. If I had my way I would just magically be successful one day and I would matter to them as much as they matter to me. But there is that famous song, "We can't always get what we want."
Less is more. Love them but don't push. Reach out but not with my arms full of bribes. Pray that they see that my heart breaks when they overlook my feelings. Thank God for those who reach out and love me in life. Yep, I need to count my blessings and stop moping about what is not and may never be.
In Him,
Joyful
9-17-11
Maybe it isn't insanity or hopefulness but pathetic. No one should try this hard to be accepted by another human being. It makes me sad and embarrassed that my friends can see my futile efforts and how upset I become again and again. This trying too hard is my fault no one else's so I must take responsibility. At some point I will give up but that is not what I want to do. If I had my way I would just magically be successful one day and I would matter to them as much as they matter to me. But there is that famous song, "We can't always get what we want."
Less is more. Love them but don't push. Reach out but not with my arms full of bribes. Pray that they see that my heart breaks when they overlook my feelings. Thank God for those who reach out and love me in life. Yep, I need to count my blessings and stop moping about what is not and may never be.
In Him,
Joyful
9-17-11
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