Thursday, July 9, 2015

Enough;;;;;;;;;;




Too often we focus on the 'what is wrong' and forget to see what is going so well. I know I am guilty of this. It is hard to give myself a break choosing instead to dwell on the hurts in my life.
Jenn said she may get a tattoo that says 'enough'.
That is so powerful and has such a broad meaning. 
I am enough~~love myself
I have enough~~be satisfied
Others are enough~~stop being jealous 

There is a movement called semicolon tattoo project. 
Why the semicolon? “A semicolon is used when an author could’ve chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to,” the site said, “The sentence is your life and the author is you.”

As most of you know, Ron and I lost our precious son to suicide 5 years ago. His life should not have ended. He should have chosen to continue. But deep inside his heart he didn't feel 'enough'. A friend asked me yesterday if I have been grieving more lately because I have guilt about Ryan's death. 

Thankfully I don't have guilt. How much sadder it would be if I felt that I was't enough or didn't do enough to love my son. What matters most is Ryan knew we all loved him unconditionally just as he loved each of us. That is enough.

Our loss has given Ron and I the opportunity to be present for others who have ached from the loss of a child. Even in death, Ryan's story, his sentence, his life is not ended. His generous heart has led to treasured relationships that we would not have had without him. 
Although I believe he should have used the semicolon instead of the gun, my Ryan was 
ENOUGH. 
I AM SO THANKFUL I GOT TO BE HIS MOM.

In Him,
Joyful
7-9-15


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