I admit I am a rule follower and a people pleaser. My whole life I have done what I was supposed to do. My thought was that if I broke the rules I would have to admit to it or lie about it. Neither of those were things I was willing to do. Who wants punishments? But in my way of thinking I lived too rigidly and judged others for not following the rules. This was even true of rules I knew made little or no sense.
Now I am gifted with working with students who are on the Autism Spectrum and see there black and white thinking. It is so tough to live in a mostly gray world with black and white thinking. Others straying from the set of rules causes them such grief. It has always caused me grief as well so I can certainly relate.
Often I have written about my biggest area of sin being jealousy. The rule follower in me is certainly at the center of this sin. Things are not always fair. People are not always fair. Life is not always fair. Things are things, people are people and life is life that is just the way it is.
Many sitcoms are written about conflicts in family and friend situations where people are upset by the choices of others. We laugh at their responses and interactions on television but it doesn't feel funny when we are the ones who feel slighted.
What I have learned in my own life is that not only other people are unfair. If I truly look in the mirror, I see that my actions are the same as theirs on many occasions. I talk to one person more than another, spend time with one friend more than another, listen more intently to one and not the other. Someone once said you can tell what is important to a person by looking at their calendar and checkbook.
We can't please everyone. Everyone can't please us. We aren't pizza (or a gold coin if you don't like pizza). But we can enjoy the time we have with others rather than spending precious time on measuring how fair we are to one another. Life is way to short to keep score.