How is this even possible with the heartaches and heartbreaks that life includes? Be thankful in all things? Thankful for unbearable loss, for excruciating pain, for life's most horrible circumstances is that even humanly possible? It seems like a command that is beyond possible. Yet, as we get past the storms in life we get to choose how we move forward in life with our new realities.
Losing our son to suicide seven years ago seemed like one of the most impossible moments to be thankful for. Don't misunderstand. If I could go back and have my precious son back I would at all costs. But our life includes this loss and always will. That moment forever changed our lives. Nothing will ever be as it was before we lost our Ryan. So with our broken hearts how are we thankful? Not thankful for our loss but for the opportunity and understanding to reach out and be there for other families going through similar loss. My prayer is that we don't ever need to use this connection with others but the reality is that too often over the last seven years we have been there to hug, hold onto and understand the grief that is drowning families.
JOY for me is Jesus first, then Others, then Yourself. It is one of my goals to live my life this way. There is no way I could endure the pain that others are going through on my own. Only walking toward them with prayer and hand in hand with Jesus makes it possible. Others~putting others first always brings me more comfort than I could ever give them. In both putting Jesus in the center and others before myself, I actually have healed enough to be grateful for the loss of my son. Not grateful for the loss but for the opportunities his loss has opened for Ron and me. What I am joyful for is that I know that Ryan would be filled with joy that his love and heart for others is continuing even through his death.
Prayer has always a big part of my life. The quiet conversations with Christ through the good days and bad are my favorite part of the day. My prayer for others is that they don't blame Him for the heartbreaks of life but that others turn to Him for their comfort and strength.
A pastor said 'Jesus is not my crutch but my stretcher. I don't lean on him but lay my whole life on Him.'
I know that I could not have survived the loss of my Ryan without the friends that surrounded us with their love, the family who held us up, and Jesus' wrapping us in His arms. My life and my heart will always have a painful tear where Ryan's death tore out this huge hole. My life and my heart have also expanded with the love and connections to others because of our loss.
Our purpose in life is~
To know Him and to make Him known.
To build our relationship with Jesus through prayer and reading His Word/ the Bible and to share His love with others. I know that through our loss of our son, Ron and I have spent more time in relationship building with Christ and with others who need Him in their lives as they move through their life.
Thankful In Him,
Joyful
10-17-17
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