Through Me is For Me

 My Bible study this morning asked when was the last time I prayed for God to do something through me rather than something for me. It really got me thinking about how often I focus on my needs rather than the needs of others. Lately I have been going through a relationship crisis and have certainly been praying unceasingly about the healing. But if I am being honest my want is for it to be resolved so I am out of pain. Rarely if ever do I put myself in the other person’s shoes and think how this riff is affecting them. Through me not for me Lord.

It is so easy to get caught up in our own needs that we can walk right past others with greater needs. Sunday I stopped at the dollar store to get some silly gifts to wrap for a friend. So it would seem I was focused on others. There was a much shorter than me older lady walking in with a walker that I held the door for. What I thought as I viewed her was that she was living one of my greatest fears. To be stooped over looking only at the ground in old age terrifies me. So even in assisting her I was focused on praying I never had to be her. She was right ahead of me in the checkout line. On the third time that the credit card machine would not take her pin I offered to pay for her few items along with my own. That is when I finally saw her. She spoke of her daughter and her fears over the Coronavirus. She confessed that she should not be driving at 84 years old especially with her eyesight but she had nobody else to get her to the store. After she thanked me for paying a whopping six dollars for her purchases, I held the door for her. Her greatest concern that morning was she was too afraid of going to church with the Covid scare but had guilt about not being there. In less than ten minutes as we walked to her car and placed her walker and items in her older vehicle I knew that she touched me. God did for me when I let Him work through me. He knew I needed to stop focusing on what was broken in my own life by getting a personal glimpse of how another’s life was lacking. There was nothing about this lady that asked to be pitied. She was just doing what needed to be done on her own without complaint. The last thing she said as we decided not to hug~Corona germs you know, was for me to enjoy the sunshine on my face because you never know when the rain will begin again. I imagine she meant this literally since it was a rare sunny day in Washington. But what I took was that I need to quit worrying about whether my back will be straight and my mind sharp in my later years and enjoy that my back is straight and my mind is clear today. Today I was able to drive myself to church and hear my son preach His word.

God brought Mary and I together so that through me He could give me this special gift just for me.

In Him,
Joyful
3-10-20