Hope Should Equal Waiting Not Micromanaging

So my Bible teaching this morning sort of was a good slap on the hand for me. It clarified hope in the Lord as really being willing to wait on the Lord. Lately, I have been impatient with some people I love who are not picking up and moving forward where I think they should move. When I look in with my eyes filled with my own desires, I just want them to get moving. My mind says they are wasting time and not doing what they need to do to accomplish what I think they need to accomplish. Okay let me take a breath here. Am I hoping, encouraging, guiding through prayers? Nope. I am wanting my will for them and have stopped just short of driving into their driveway to pack boxes and fill out paperwork myself. My way not their way or His way. Stop it right now. Where is my hope, patience, prayer? I have been to focused on being all knowing to see the big picture for my own life and especially not focused on what is right for others.

So I am taking a break at playing God and praying for my own patience and faith. How come I take my eyes off His love for me and mine so often when over and over He proves His love and plans? I get caught up in the me, me, me of my own desires rather than trusting. I think too often I have stubbornly wanted my way and if I stop to pray the answers won’t be what I want. But over and over I find that my self-centered wants are too often not what should happen even for me.

 Thinking back almost four decades ago to my desire for a family. Infertility was heartbreaking and exhausting. I longed for God to open the possibility of conception. When I had to refocus on adopting my children I wanted instant family but that is not how it worked out. Ron and I had three adoptions not work out and were crushed. But God knew just what sweet babies were to be ours and we wouldn’t trade the heartbreak of infertility and the adoption process for the joy of raising our perfect family. He didn’t provide my way to motherhood but He provided His even better plan for my life and my family. The truth is we scored in the adoption process a larger family than we could have imagined. We have birth families that are as much a part of our hearts as the children they loved enough to trust us with.

It is time for me to spend some time reflecting on the countless times my life didn’t turn out the way I hoped but the reality was far more than I ever hoped for. I think my prayer journal is calling me to make a list. Then pray for my loved ones rather than harping on them to get moving. My hope has to be my trust and patience that God loves them even more than I do. He sees the big picture and I can put away my micromanaging wand. I think we will all be glad to see me put down my trying to control everything and be in charge hat. It is exhausting and futile so time to change tactics. There is so much more peace in prayer than in playing God. Heck, I may even take a nap today wrapped in my new found peace.

In Him,
Joyful
5-14-20