My Focus From The Inside

Fix my focus. Pastor Josh pointed out this morning that I see what I am looking for. He asked me to look around the room I am sitting in for as many yellow things as I could see. Got it. I found six. Then he followed up with how many red things did you see? What? I wasn’t looking for red things so hello, I didn’t see any red things. Exactly! I see what I am looking for. Simple or not so simple. It is hard to focus my eyes on positives in difficult circumstances. But if I look for a moment in my rearview mirror I can see all the blessings that came out of my hardest days. Losing my son to suicide brought buckets of tears and loneliness. It also brought heart people to wipe my tears while encouraging me to let them flow. Even as they grieved their own loss they wrapped me in their arms and friendship so I was not alone in my lonely sadness. 

So many gifts come from loss. Never do I want to experience a loss of any kind. But when I do there are opportunities to cling to my faith and allow others to see where my strength comes from, Jesus. I pray to be bold in sharing His love with others not because they need to live my way. Because I want them to have this ever present relationship that gives me courage to put one foot in front of the other and recognize I don’t take those steps alone. The times I am boldest in sharing the truth that is my faith is when the bottom falls out of my world. A couple weeks ago I lost my sister to Covid. It brought me to my knees and gave me a renewed urgency for sharing Jesus with those I love. All of us have days that are numbered. My heart is all in that my forever is going to be a glorious reunion with those I long to wrap my arms around now. I want that forever home for those I love, those I like and even those who drive me crazy. It would be sad to not have them in my next adventure. It is sad if they don’t have Jesus just a whisper away here and now. He is my strength, my joy, my inspiration, my comfort and my life. I could not have survived the losses of my life without Him. Having Him there for those I love inspires me to not preach but live my life as an example of someone that isn’t going through this alone. Someone I love said she appreciates her Christian friends who don’t try to preach. Influencing her heart with our journeys is not preaching but writing our own testimony each day. There is a song that says I don’t want to be on the outside looking in. I am not on the outside but I don’t want to look out the window and see someone out there that I had the opportunity to bring in out of the cold. 

My focus is on Jesus the most when I am experiencing the greatest loss. I cannot imagine going through loss without Him by my side. That would be the biggest loss. One I couldn’t survive. A friend in my Bible group said she has never had anyone refuse when she asked if she could pray for them. That is because even those who say they don’t believe want the comfort and assurance prayer brings. There is in every human heart a spark for Jesus and I need to be bold in opportunities to ignite His love to bring them inside His embrace. So I pray to be used everywhere throughout my day. Not when my laundry is done or I am in a better mood or circumstance.

 The old saying is true........I’m writing a gospel, a chapter each day. What is the gospel according to me today?  To know Him and to make Him known is my life goal, my focus, and how I should be living not preaching to everyone I encounter. 

In Him,

Joyful

12-14-20