I am so thankful today for my life. There are so many ways God has given me my hearts desire. It is so important that I look back on all His answered prayers and how He stayed close even when those answers were not the ones I wanted. Probably the biggest gift I received was being able to have four children even thought my body couldn't carry them. My birthmoms were selfless to trust us with their precious babies. What seemed like a devastating circumstance of infertility ended with us having exactly the family God intended. Oh how wonderful life has turned out. When the Bible says be thankful in all things, it feels impossible when life throws blockades to our desires. Looking back even the most devastating moments were walked through together with those people He put in our lives as well as His ever present love and support.
When we lost Ryan there was no way I could see how God wanted me to be thankful in losing my son to suicide. But sitting her a dozen years later I realize that although I would change that loss if I could, there has been fruit from our journey. Ron and I have a ministry to walk beside other parents who lost their children tragically. My book is my testimony that I get to share with so many. It made me bold in my faith and in sharing it with those puts on my heart to gift a book. While I was at Walmart yesterday the cashier was a personality plus young man who was brightening customers day with his positivity. I loaded my groceries in the car, reached in the backseat and went back in to give him my book and let him know how much he was impacting lives. Connections is one of the gifts o losing my Ryan. Ryan never met a stranger and was always so generous in his encouragement. That is how I want to continue growing in when I grow up.
Not all prayers are answered as we hope. But if we look deeper God has a plan to use all of our stories good and bad to draw us and others closer to Him. My life motto is To know Him and to make Him known. It is often in my heartbreak that I am able to share my faith with others more than my triumphs. Why do I want to share my faith? Not cram it down someone's throat but share how my relationship with Jesus has been my strength and comfort. I cannot imagine going through this life without knowing I can have a conversation with Him at any moment. It is not the rules of religion that matter but the relationship with my good, good Father. In Him I can get through anything life throws at me. He has provided just the right people in my life to lift me up to get through.
Robert Frost said The best way out is always through. I would add to that that the best way through is hand in hand and not alone.
In Him,
Joyful
6-15-22
No comments:
Post a Comment