Wacky is a Facet of Who I am

 My daughter accused me of not blogging who I really am. Her words have made me think about that for a couple of days. It is true in life I am random, ridiculous, and unpredictable. I love that about myself. But there are many parts of me as there are many parts of you. This blog is genuinely from my heart. It is not the goofy part of me but it is still me. Like a diamond, I have so many sides or facets to who I am. How I live and share polishes each one. This blog is where I share my faith, my heartbreak, my triumphs but not so much my silliness. That facet of my personality is only on display for a handful of my tribe. The ones that appreciate just how ridiculous my thoughts can be.

Truth is that my brain is always surprising me with weird thoughts that I don't even share with anyone. Just a smile on my face for no reason or a confused expression to hint that I am thinking ridiculous. So I thought today I would share a few over a lifetime sillies that are me. 

I have always told my kids that I love them more than dirt. Another saying is that nobody likes you and then their response is nobody liked you first. When I dropped my kids off at a friend's home, I made them tell me if they were going to spit or cuss. They were not allowed to do both. These are just a few weird sayings that even my students at times heard from me. Probably my kookiness is just a part of me but also a way to connect.

 Sharing silly sayings is predictable. Most people have their inside jokes. Of course I didn't want my kids to spit or cuss at anyone's house but I got sick of running through the list of how they should act. I'm sure they were sick of hearing my guiding words over and over. I did want everyone to like them and sometimes saying the opposite reminds us of how lucky we are that life is not a certain way. 

When Natalie said I need to be more random on my posts I was so ecstatic. That means she is reading my blog. Big win for me. I write for therapy and to share my heart. Part of me is thankful that my words are here for those who read them now but also for my kids when I am gone. Ron and I poured over the words our mothers wrote when they were heavenbound. I even get nervous that anyone would be hurt that I might have written more often about someone else than I did about them. 

This blog is meant to be a gift to me as well as others. I call it a window to my heart, my faith, and my life. But it is a facet of me not the complete gem. So as I enjoy a second cup of coffee I will smile that perhaps my girl will read my words later today.  She will know that I heard her and thoughtfully considered what she said. Hope she knows that she is witness to my strangeness because I trust her to love me despite my crazy brain. Yes Natalie, I really am your real mom and I love you more than dirt. 

In Him,

Joyful

6-10-22